author : diablo cody
pages [paperback] 192
favorite character: chip
Someone needed to put a stop payment on Jennifer Check.
The sign says Welcome to Devil’s Kettle, Pop. 7,036. Come See What’s Cookin’ No, seriously . . . that’s what it says.
Some people find it hard to believe that a babe like Jennifer Check would associate with a dork like me, Needy Lesnicki. But we had history. We’d been the Wonder Twins since we were preverbal, and sandbox love never dies. Or at least that’s what I thought.
But after that night in the woods, Jennifer was different. She “looked” different. And then the killings began. . . .
A lot of people ask me if I’m sorry I did it. I’m only sorry I didn’t do it sooner.
I don’t know when, exactly, I got it into my head that it would be a good idea to read this. It was like seeing an accident and not being able to leave without finding out the details. Because I’ve only seen parts of the movie, and this actually looked vaguely interesting, so . . . Well. It was an . . . experience.
The parts that were supposed to be funny (I assume they were meant to make me laugh. Otherwise I would be more horrified) were simply cringe-worthy and all of the gory, gruesome details that I knew were coming (because, c’mon, it’s a book about mysterious ‘killings’) were just laid there plain and simply while Needy didn’t seem bothered by it in the slightest. There was no emotion from her, nothing really from internal dialogue, although it was in first person. But, really, I shouldn’t have expected much more from a novelization of a screenplay.
I really don’t recommend this book. Particularly for those looking for a fun, easy read that is partly horrifying and partly humorous. You won’t find anything to take away from this. It contradicts itself, leaves some things unanswered, is very bland and boring. Even when people are dying.
How do you make that boring? How?
Search elsewhere for better, well-written horror stories. You’ll be a happier person.