Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
author : seth grahame-smith
pages : [hardcover] 336
favorite quote :
Judge us not equally, Abraham. We may all deserve hell, but some of us deserve it sooner than others.
favorite character : henry
Indiana, 1818. Moonlight falls through the dense woods that surround a one-room cabin, where a nine-year-old Abraham Lincoln kneels at his suffering mother’s bedside. She’s been stricken with something the old-timers call “Milk Sickness.”
“My baby boy…” she whispers before dying.
Only later will the grieving Abe learn that his mother’s fatal affliction was actually the work of a vampire.
When the truth becomes known to young Lincoln, he writes in his journal, “henceforth my life shall be one of rigorous study and devotion. I shall become a master of mind and body. And this mastery shall have but one purpose…” Gifted with his legendary height, strength, and skill with an ax, Abe sets out on a path of vengeance that will lead him all the way to the White House.
While Abraham Lincoln is widely lauded for saving a Union and freeing millions of slaves, his valiant fight against the forces of the undead has remained in the shadows for hundreds of years. That is, until Seth Grahame-Smith stumbled upon The Secret Journal of Abraham Lincoln, and became the first living person to lay eyes on it in more than 140 years.
Using the journal as his guide and writing in the grand biographical style of Doris Kearns Goodwin and David McCullough, Seth has reconstructed the true life story of our greatest president for the first time-all while revealing the hidden history behind the Civil War and uncovering the role vampires played in the birth, growth, and near-death of our nation.
I’ve been thinking about reading this book for a long while and, honestly, was never sure that I would actually get around to reading it. See, I always had so many other options, and so many new and more compelling books to reach for. But being temporarily moved away from all of that, with only access to a limited library and the more limited reach of whatever books aren’t currently checked out there, I chose this book because it’s one of the few titles I haven’t already read but have heard of.
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter was nothing like I thought it would be. This is the first of Grahame-Smith’s books I’ve read, so I never before experienced his writing style in his retellings. It was an interesting take and better than I thought it would be. The tone is more dry historical nonfiction than sensationalized bestseller vampire lore. It reads like Grahame-Smith has really been commissioned by Henry, a vampire who’s lived for centuries, to tell the true story of Abraham Lincoln in a new historical textbook. There are even pictures included with insets that show you where Lincoln (or the vampires!) supposedly are. I liked how that added to the storybuilding with the play at realism.
Maybe it played in too well, however, because it really did bore me like an actual textbook would. There was surprisingly little vampire slaying in this Abe Lincoln biography. Although I’m not sure of how much written is historically accurate (I’m going to assume a fair part of it is, apart from the vampires and all), it was . . . dull. And demonstrates how utterly depressing it was to live in a time period where so many people died under mysterious or unexplained circumstances, not just because of vampires but because of diseases they didn’t even have a name for back then. It’s a wonder that some people managed to survive it all without losing their minds.
I’m not sure if I would pick up another book by Grahame-Smith. This book certainly shows the talent he has, but a book including vampires, to me, has to be entertaining. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter actually skimmed over most of the scenes where vampires appeared, and would refer back to action-packed events in one or two sentences rather than showing them. Actually, one of the things that annoyed me most in this book was the cheap trick of using a dream to get in an especially shocking or enrapturing scene, only to have it turn out to be a dream. That happened so often in this novel, I couldn’t even keep track of the number of times it frustrated me. At least three, maybe four or five scenes were constructed in this way.
I could certainly see the draw this book holds for the people who loved it so much but, for me, I’m now more interested to see how it would translate on screen for me because that form of media might work best with this material.