3 stars · fiction

they both die at the end didn’t manage to make me cry


they both die at the end

author : adam silvera

pages : [hardcover] 384

favorite character : rufus

summary :

On September 5, a little after midnight, Death-Cast calls Mateo Torrez and Rufus Emeterio to give them some bad news: They’re going to die today. Mateo and Rufus are total strangers, but, for different reasons, they’re both looking to make a new friend on their End Day. The good news: There’s an app for that. It’s called the Last Friend, and through it, Rufus and Mateo are about to meet up for one last great adventure and to live a lifetime in a single day.

review :

A big thank you to Edelweiss for providing me with an E-ARC in exchange for my honest review.

I was really really really excited to read this book.

This is the first book by Adam Silvera that I’ve read and when I attended Book Con this year, I think this was one of the most popular ARCs floating around the scene. I’m not a typical contemporary reader–there are times I absolutely love them, times I hate them, and I can never read too many of them in a row. But I dove right into this book without knowing about it’s compelling concept: somehow, someone has developed Death Cast, a system where if you are slated to die on a certain day, you’ll have your call by 2 A.M. that it’s your day to die.

Of course, this leaves so many questions. How do they know this? Who determines it? Are people dying because they’ve been told to die, or is this thing that predicts their deaths also predicting everything they’ll do after learning they’ll die? What about the people who end up dying between midnight and 2 A.M? Do they not get a call, or do they get their call the day before?

So many questions, and I love how the characters address some of the questions themselves, because they don’t know. The operators at Death Cast don’t know. The people getting the calls don’t know. The people left behind by their dying loved ones don’t know. They can question and beg and plead for answers all they like and, in this book as in reality, there are no full answers. Which I liked.

Another thing I loved was the diversity in this book. Most of the main characters are people of color, one of the narrators is bisexual, and the other never outright defines his sexuality apart from giving enough evidence that it certainly isn’t straight. That was awesome.

But, what I didn’t love, what ended up distancing me from this book I wanted so desperately to love, was the writing. It didn’t grip me; it felt too bland. I couldn’t connect fully with the other characters because some of the dialogue felt clunky and jarred me out of the story. In the plotline, there were some pieces that read too much to me like things that often make me put down contemporaries. Pieces that are so obviously slated to be symbolic, or quirky, or meaningful, that just don’t feel realistic or flow reasonably in the setting. I won’t give any specific examples because of spoilers, and quoting from an ARC, but it’s something I ran into before.

And, I have to admit, I cry a lot over books. It isn’t unusual for me. This book didn’t really get to me until hours later, when I was still considering how it had made me feel. I think, most importantly, it made me consider what I would do if I knew it was my last day to live. Or what I would do if it was my last day and I never knew it until it was too late. Would I want to know? I don’t think so. But, as They Both Die at the End shows, maybe something great can come out of the knowing.

This book certainly wasn’t for me. I don’t regret reading it, and I’m definitely going to try other books by this author. Still, I won’t be throwing this into any recommendations I give out.

3/5 stars

5 stars · reread review · young adult

Reread Reflection: Because You’ll Never Meet Me by Leah Thomas


How do you review a book after you’ve already read it? Review the reread!

I loooooooooove this book.

I don’t just like it, L-O-V-E it. So much so that I needed to buy a physical copy of it after first reading the ebook, probably because I needed something to hug with delight after my re-read.

I’ve honestly never read something like Because You’ll Never Meet Me. That stands true even in the re-read. What fascinated me this time around was that there are details in here, tiny ones, that seem irrelevant unless you know what’s going to play a role in book two. Author Leah Thomas was already dropping hints about that plot, and it’s amazing because it isn’t particularly necessary but makes everything seem that much cooler to me.

Just knowing the ending of Nowhere Near You, the sequel, makes reading Because You’ll Never Meet Me even more of a pleasure. No spoilers, of course, even though I could gush about Ollie and Moritz for days. Their characters are so nuanced, imperfect, lovable, kind, frustrating . . . There aren’t many books these days that make me think back to my roots of fanfiction and what I’d want to write about these characters if there aren’t more books made of them. Please give me more books with them.

Basically, Because You’ll Never Meet Me is a book that grows even bigger in your heart, the more often you read it. So if you haven’t picked it up yet . . . what are you waiting for?

Basically me throughout the whole book:




4 stars · dystopia · young adult

Proxy by Alex London


Proxy #1

author : alex london

pages : [hardcover] 384

memorable quote Destiny is just the inevitable result of choice, from the choices that came before us to the choices we make. They are a river that can only flow in one direction.

favorite characters : syd & knox

summary :

Knox was born into one of the City’s wealthiest families. A Patron, he has everything a boy could possibly want—the latest tech, the coolest clothes, and a Proxy to take all his punishments. When Knox breaks a vase, Syd is beaten. When Knox plays a practical joke, Syd is forced to haul rocks. And when Knox crashes a car, killing one of his friends, Syd is branded and sentenced to death.

Syd is a Proxy. His life is not his own.

Then again, neither is Knox’s. Knox and Syd have more in common than either would guess. So when Knox and Syd realize that the only way to beat the system is to save each other, they flee. Yet Knox’s father is no ordinary Patron, and Syd is no ordinary Proxy. The ensuing cross-country chase will uncover a secret society of rebels, test both boys’ resolve, and shine a blinding light onto a world of those who owe and those who pay. Some debts, it turns out, cannot be repaid.

review :

I heard a lot of buzz and good things about this book before I picked it up and I have to say that I think this series starter really lived up to my expectations, even if I thought it could have been left as a standalone when I finished it and wasn’t entirely sure there was going to be another book until I looked it up on Goodreads. Proxy was a really interesting premise, taking the idea that someone can be punished for another person’s mistakes and that would be considered the ‘punishment’ for the person who actually did something wrong. The injustice of this system boggled my mind and there were parts of the book that really made me question how something like this could actually work. But Knox and Syd seem to believe the city is one of the last surviving civilizations so I suppose refugees would do just about anything to survive, even if it means they will no longer have control over their lives.

I absolutely loved reading about Syd and sympathizing with him, especially because it seems like people are constantly telling him that he’s feeling too sorry for himself. His life has always been horrible. Living with the other poor people, there’s never enough food and they all live in filth and squalor. Comparing that to all of the high-tech gadgets that even Syd has makes it obvious that these people could easily be helped and cared for if the rich, the Patrons, cared to make them equals. Syd is just trying to survive and he doesn’t really see any hope in defeating the system. I love that he’s a completely unlikely hero. Unlike most YA books of this genre, there is no love interest for him. I hope some romance is included in book two, though because of the ending in this one I really can’t imagine where things will go next!

Speaking of that ending . . .

I never saw that coming. And it worked perfectly, and it made me sad and happy and gave me all of the feels that a great books should. So I’m 100% reading book two, even though I don’t know where things could go. I loved the second half of Proxy more than the first, probably because of the escalating action and plot twists, so I’m excited to read more from Alex London.

4/5 stars

3 stars · fiction · young adult

Speechless by Hannah Harrington


author : hannah harrington

pages : [paperback] 288

memorable quote : Hate is… It’s too easy. Love. Love takes courage.

favorite characters :asha & sam

summary :

Everyone knows that Chelsea Knot can’t keep a secret

Until now. Because the last secret she shared turned her into a social outcast—and nearly got someone killed.

Now Chelsea has taken a vow of silence—to learn to keep her mouth shut, and to stop hurting anyone else. And if she thinks keeping secrets is hard, not speaking up when she’s ignored, ridiculed and even attacked is worse.

But there’s strength in silence, and in the new friends who are, shockingly, coming her way—people she never noticed before; a boy she might even fall for. If only her new friends can forgive what she’s done. If only she can forgive herself

review :

This book wasn’t what I expected. At some points it was slow and frustrating but, overall, I think that I came out of it feeling better for what I’d read about. It was interesting and took a different take on all of the difference characters throughout the novel.

Chelsea used to be one of the popular girls, the mean girls, until she made a very good decision that made all of her so-called friends hate her and now she’s ostracized at school. At first I was like everyone else, thinking that her vow of silence was a selfish and stupid decision. But the more I saw characters pushing her to stop, the more I could see how her strength was growing and taking her down a path she might never have started otherwise. Surprisingly, she was becoming a better person.

Several times in her reflections on her past life, I realized that Chelsea is one of those people I and I’m sure most other people detest. She changed herself completely to get in good with the popular girls and doesn’t even realize how much of an affect that’s had on her until she does something that ends her relationship with all of those terrible people. While I like knowing that people can change and there’s always a reason why someone might be acting cruel or rude, some parts of the book didn’t sit as well with me because I couldn’t relate to the people portrayed.

I think that this book has a good message and would be enjoyed by many people but I also feel like it was lacking somewhat to me. The plotline was very predictable so I had the feeling that I could skip a lot and still know what was going to happen. There were no real plot twists, which I tend to look for in contemporary literature. Maybe it was because Chelsea was having one-sided conversations with everyone but with most of the characters I felt a kind of disconnect.

This is a good, quick read, but isn’t one of my favorites.

3/5 stars

If you liked this book, you might also like Absent or One Moment

buy the book : amazon

5 stars · fiction · romance · young adult

Will Grayson, Will Grayson by John Green and David Levithan

Will Grayson, Will Grayson

authors : John Green & David Levithan

pages [paperback]: 310

memorable quote: Some people have lives; some people have music.

favorite characters: will grayson


One cold night, in a most unlikely corner of Chicago, two teens—both named Will Grayson—are about to cross paths. As their worlds collide and intertwine, the Will Graysons find their lives going in new and unexpected directions, building toward romantic turns-of-heart and the epic production of history’s most fabulous high school musical.

Hilarious, poignant, and deeply insightful, John Green and David Levithan’s collaborative novel is brimming with a double helping of the heart and humor that have won both them both legions of faithful fans.


I bought this book a while ago and decided that it was finally the right time to read it! I love John Green (and have been meaning to read more of his books, as otherwise I feel like a bad nerdfighter) and I’ve read some of David Levithan’s work as well, so I figured the two together was nothing short of amazingly awesome.

And I was right! Thankfully. I loved the story just from the first few pages. What with Tiny and Will Grayson’s hilarious description of his only friend and his life and general, I couldn’t get enough. Then I figured out that the other Will Grayson spoke in alternating chapters (which I happened to like reading more, if only because I liked reading it all in lowercase . . . ) because I didn’t actually read the back before buying this book. Yes. I have a horrible habit of doing that, but it makes everything more interesting when I know I’ll like the writing and have absolutely no expectations whatsoever. Except, you know, for the fact that there’ll be two Will Grayson’s in there somewhere.

I think that everyone, at some point, has wondered what it’d be like to meet someone with the same name. It’d be a completely odd and weird and wonderful experience, because on paper they are you, but if real life they’re definitely not. I liked how the novel dealt with that, with all of the characters problems (and they all-even the minor ones-had flaws. Yay! Because I hate it when they’re all perfect) and with high school. And that musical. It sure was something.

This book took me only a few days to read because it was so completely enjoyable. It made me laugh, gasp, cheer them on, want to throw things. Everything that a book should do and then some. I like it when a hilarious book can also have some really great messages thrown in there. And have amazing plot twists.

You should definitely check this book out! Everyone. Go go go!


p.s. much thanks to the nerdfighter who left a post-it in the copy I bought inviting me to join nerdfighteria! even if I already know all about it, it’s still nice to know there are local nerdfighters. ^^

4 stars · fiction · romance · young adult

Gone, Gone, Gone by Hannah Moskowitz

Gone, Gone, Gone

Hannah Moskowitz

Pages: 288

memorable quote:

favorite characters:
lio & craig


In the wake of the post-9/11 sniper shootings, fragile love finds a stronghold in this intense, romantic novel from the author of Break and Invincible Summer.

It’s a year after 9/11. Sniper shootings throughout the D.C. area have everyone on edge and trying to make sense of these random acts of violence. Meanwhile, Craig and Lio are just trying to make sense of their lives. Craig’s crushing on quiet, distant Lio, and preoccupied with what it meant when Lio kissed him…and if he’ll do it again…and if kissing Lio will help him finally get over his ex-boyfriend, Cody. Lio feels most alive when he’s with Craig. He forgets about his broken family, his dead brother, and the messed up world. But being with Craig means being vulnerable…and Lio will have to decide whether love is worth the risk.

This intense, romantic novel from the author of Break and Invincible Summer is a poignant look at what it is to feel needed, connected, and alive.


This is my first Hannah Moskowitz novel and I can’t wait to look at her other two novels, which look positively fabulous. I’ve already fallen in love with her wonderful writing style, ability to draw forth her characters and present them for better or for worse, and accomplishments in twisting a plot into something both moving, suspenseful, and addictive.

Lio and Craig were awesome and frustrating and unique and full of problems and quirks and little things that made them them. I like it when characters are out of the ordinary and express them in ways that people would normally steer away from, like Lio with his hair and Craig with his animals. I loved how each was obsessed with their respective thing for their own personal reasons. Random traits weren’t just thrown at them in an attempt to make them better. They just were.

 I think the pacing could have worked better for me because there were moments when I was so drawn into the story I couldn’t pull away and others where I was sitting back, itching for something else to happen. Everything was in clusters of action, for practically the entirety of the novel, and though most of the time that worked well enough, it needed a bit more . . . oomph.

But, that said, it’s the only negative thing that I can come up with to say, really. All of the important elements were right on target. I don’t usually read LGBTQ material-not by choice, just by fault of availability-but this is one of my favorites. For anyone who is looking to branch into that, enjoys reading it, wants a good book, likes great characters, or wants to fall in love with another author’s writing, this is the book for you.

GOING, GOING, GONE. 4.5/5 stars